Stomach Curls

Sometimes I wake up in the morning after I have had a dream about someone. Usually it's someone I haven't seen in a while and then I start thinking about them during the day and I know I need to call them. Why does it make my stomach curl? It's like a nervousness! Sometimes I haven't seen the person for years, sometimes it's only been a few weeks, but I don't understand why. Is it a lack of confidence in myself? Is it a worry over what they'll say? Is it my own impressions of how the conversation will go? Do they want to talk to me? Why haven't they called me? Then, I realize...if they don't want to talk to me, it will be obvious. When I call them, I always feel better as the conversation goes on. My friendship is secured, my nervousness ceases.

I had a friend call me today. I have been awaiting news from this friend. I expect this friend will be moving away soon. If not in the next month it will be in the next couple years. The friend asked to meet up so we could talk. My stomach has been curling ever since. It's a nervousness! I'm afraid of how the conversation will go. I know God has a call on their life and God is moving them in a different direction. I know I'll have to try to, once again, maintain a long distance friendship. I'm not looking forward to it, but if there ever were a friend I would want to keep...it would DEFINITELY be this one, even if it were long distance.